flying kites

God daym! I haven’t written in this thing in damn long, huh? Well, I sure do have a lot to say. Lets start at the beginning.

Going back about 2-3 weeks.
High as balls adventure with allyson, matt, and Kayla.
We decide to park ourselves right at the inside entrance of the Parque de Maria Luisa (which I now realize may not have been the smartest idea since just this morning I saw a cop on his motorcycle doing rounds right where we had been sitting. Oops. Other side note on cops on motorcycle- one night allyson and I were bike riding slightly drunk and one of them was following us right along side us reallyyyy creepily). Anways, back to smoking our joints. Mhmm, I miss blunts. So naturally, we start talking about the most obscene and hilarious topics. Somehow got on the important question of what it would be like if there were a million cigarette butts right where we were. Being the germophobe that she is (she always carries hand sanitizer with her and doesn’t want to touch the metro bars), allyson comments, “oh my god, imagine all the germs that would be on you from their mouths! You would be so wet!” hahahah you would directly take that towards germs. Classic. Next, comes Thomas Edison. Kayla claims she did a report on him once and he was deaf and it had something to do with a train conductor. After debating for some time, she decides to look it up on her phone and lo and behold, she was right! For all you who don’t know, Thomas Edison had early middle ear problems due to infections and then grew completely deaf when a train conductor hit him in the ear. My next question was, the train conductor as in the person or as in the electricity conductor, but I guess that doesn’t make any sense, which is exactly why I kept it to myself, until allyson asked the same thing. Haha. Great minds think alike. We sit on the bench and enjoy the ten minutes of sunshine before the storm. Matt comments on how his pants are ripped. Very unfortunate. Him and allyson have a very elaborate conversation on what the quick fixes are, how it bothers him, what he can do to fix it later, etc, etc… to which all of a sudden, I blurt out ‘.. omg you guys have been talking about a pants rip for so long! But im sorry your pants are ripped!’ it does not sound funny at allll on paper but allyson for some reason found that hilarious and kept repeating ‘im sorry your pants are ripped’ for the rest of the night.
We decided it was time to head over to our next portion of our adventure- the movie, avatar. Oh yes, that’s the one Kayla has already seen 3 times, haha. Because Kayla doesn’t have a bike, she shares one with matt by balancing on the seat and matt sits up, and then allyson and I each have our own bike. We go, and we ride fast, real fast, and we have no respect for any of the typical rules of the road, but then again, neither does anyone in spain. There was for sure a close call at one point though when we charged through a construction point on a busy street going in the opposite direction of traffic with a huge fucking truck coming our way! We finally, thank god, made it to the nervion mall alive, where the theater is. And just in time too! Because about 3 minutes after we got in line, there was the biggest downpour ever! Matt and I get in line for tickets and Kayla and allyson get in line for candy. Matt and I sadly learn tickets are sold out for that time, and as we go to relay the bad news, Kayla and allyson round the corner each with two huge bags filled with candy- sour, chocolate, hard, soft, whatever you wanted. They were like two little kids on Halloween about to devour all their treasures from the night. After telling them it’s a fail, obviously, we head into the mall to discover what it has to offer. We find a carousel and fake horse to ride, oh joy! While we all wonder whether that carousel has an age limit, or at least I do, we watch a 3 year old ride the horse like it’s a bucking bronco- one hand and everything, quite impressive I must say. We go into cien mondatitos, which is about 23 times larger than the one in the center, to get something to eat, oh right, on top of that candy. Some funny moments there- allyson strolls up to the counter about to demand the food she hasn’t even ordered yet, of course.
We then leave to go see avatar, which I basically sleep through, but I justify it because I have already seen it, so its ok! I needed to nap after smoking anyways. Considering its past midnight by then on a Sunday with nothing done for school yet, not that that even matters and anything ever gets done, we part ways til our next toke.


Another day, allyson, Kayla, matt, and his two friends, Stephen Harvey and kyle, and I went to Tigris, the hookah bar right around the corner from us. Its pretty legit- has some sweet decorations, good pillows, cool lighting, big hookahs, and a nice bartender! We got two rounds of hookah- melon and then tutti-frutti, very yummy. I loooveee hookah. Oh, I forgot to mention our most interesting topic of conversation- butt sex. ‘I mean I didn’t receive it, if that’s what you mean’-kyle. Hahaha. Oh man. I think Stephen was shocked way past his comfort levels, entertainingly enough. After hours of chillin, Kayla and I decide its ‘time to dance! I wanna dance!’ but we all decide to smoke a joint, from which we get pretty fucked and by the time we get to the club, are so retarded our dancing has turned into stumbling swaying and ignoring creepy advances from guys, and our conversations have turned into mutters and jumbles of words. we, naturally, go to the bar to get another drink, which of course they have run out of orange juice or juice in general. Seriously, the bars here could not be any less prepared! HAHHAHA I just remembered something!! ‘ive got some business to take care of.’ We ran into Kaylas friend from the other night, a supposed businessman who wouldn’t reveal his nature of business so clearly, we would assume drugs. He was at Buddha which is another reason why we went- to go find him, so Kayla calls him. At the bar, waiting for our drinks, he comes right up and blurts this, to which Kayla is slightly horrified because she remembers him as much younger and better looking and not as awkward and weird, ha. Just goes to prove what a couple drinks will do to you, huh. We decide to sit down for a little cause all of a sudden Kayla is super fucked and then just leave, being too high and dumb to interact at all in any sort of appropriate manner. I remember getting home and being upset I didn’t get to dance more, which is however probably good because I sure as hell know dancing like Elaine in Seinfeld is much worse than not dancing at all.
Oh and yes, during our epic fail at Buddha, allyson had an epic fail of her own. She graciously broke a chair at the Hamburgeuseria and fell straight on her ass, high as fuck. One of the funniest texts ive ever received and I think I laughed for 8 straight minutes when I read it. Only wish I had been there. Priceless.