oooo barracuudaaa

haha well last night was hysterical.
and before that, the day was sweet. i can proudly say that i am no longer a 'cien mandetitos' virgin! god, that place is heavenly. its a little restaurant right near the cathedral that has a menu of 100 (cien) little sandwhiches (mandetitos). they go from really simple to more complex, on really good bread, and with potato chips. whats the absolute best is that on wednesdays, every mandetito is only one euro! so i think its going to be tradition to go every wednesday after our later class! even better, on wednesdays with every mandetito, you get a huuugeee pint glass of tinto verano or beer. so along with my jamon and tomate, chorizo y brie, and bacon y pimiente verde, i got 3 amazingly delicious tinto veranos. got a little tipsy off those which was great. so many people showed up so it was awesome, except that place is tiny and it was packeeddd. and next time jose luis doesnt go pick up his mandetitos for a twenty minutes, im absolutley stealing it. yum!
next, we hauled our half-drunk asses to corte ingles (with kayla and alena). per usual, i looked like the typical american drunkard with a bottle of wine and bottle of vodka in both my hands, walking around. oh, and the most delicious chocolate you have ever EVER had in your life, ferrio rocher. its everything you would ever want- its nutty, chocolately, silky smooth, crunchy- basically infinite heaven in your mouth.
but our real night started when we walked over to the residencias right near plaza cuba. they are pretty sweet. its all american kids housed dorm style- they are right by the river and they have little porches- perfect for smoking. our pregame at chris, jeremy, mike, and their spanish roommate alfonso (i think) consisted of a hilarious game of naming movie quotes and drinking wine, along with blasting typical american music. some memorable movie quotes:
"... im pregnant" "...with emotion?" - knocked up
shit, i cant think of the ones from last night... dammit. there was for sure superbad, wedding crashers, dirty dancing, all the best comedies because thats all i know. anywayss, we continued on to calle betis to 'alberquerque' (haha) for some cheap shots. tequila all the wayyy baby- below one euro. probably meaning they are half water. but hey, who cares? the bartender is real chill and sold us weed, so no complaints there. hopefully we get to free shot status real soon. this hoppin' bar usually has quite the display of inappropriate tv shows on ranging from a selection of hard core porn, dick-in-a-hole surprises, violent yet sexy escapades, among others. quite entertaining, in fact. sadly, last night lacked this fantastic aspect.
next stop, bike stop. kayla, chris, jeremy, and i were all happily on our way to cathedral when at one point, kayla and i turned around and -poof!- they were gone. thanks for ditching guysss! finally made it to cathedral- place sucked this time, unfortunately. filled all the way up with straight creepers on the prowl. after several minutes of dancing while feeling on display, we decided to ditch.
on to the next episooddee, da da da da da. spliff time! reminder to self: buy papers. or even better, 'hey moomm, could you just go into that drawer in my room and send me that little orange rectangle box that says zig zags right on over to here..no, no, dont worry what its for, just send it over. thanksss'. after dissecting out the tabacco of a ciagerette, a serious operation by the way, we sat on some lucky person's doorstep and packed it up. hailed down a cab to buddha, and smoked it right outside. 'thats a funny looking cigarette you got there.'
well, contrary to popular belief, or maybe just my belief (?), wednesday nights are not bumpin'. repeat: NOT bumpin'. i had been convinced that wednesdays were the new thursdays (which they technically are, since allyson and i have no class thursdays), but i was miserably proved wrong last night. because as kayla and i strolled into buddha like we owned the placed, we were able to count about 17 people in there. knowing this could not possibly be it, we hiked up the stairs to the other levels, and there was noone, nooonnnee i tell you! bummer. but it didnt matter, cuz high as balls like we were, we parked ourselves in the bottom level, in a nicely cushioned corner, perfect for people watching, and we had ourselves a fucking ball. first, we had the dumbest and creepiest waiter. he comes over, asks what we want for drinks. first request, as always, i ask for a margarita. and dude, im telling you NOBODY here knows what a fucking margarita is. even if its on the fucking menu, they dont have it or know how to make it. the other night, i went to the bar, asked for a variety of drinks, they had none (or couldnt make them), so i just go 'ok make me something good and strong' and the lady, being an expert bartender brings me jager and red bull... are you fuckin serious? like for real? oh, the best part, she charges me 7 euros. riiight, bitch. but anywhooo, where was i? oh yes, our waiter! he knows no drinks, so we just say ok, 'vodka and orange juice', can we make it any simpler for you? he brings it over, basically entirely filled with ice, and were like, wtf?, so hes like ok, free shots! and in the middle of this, when we couldnt understand wtf he was saying, kayla just starts saying 'somos americanas, somos americanas'. i was like ha! duhhh! im pretty sure everyone in the entire world knows we are from america! (but apparently he had asked). so yes, free shots! what do we want, he asks. after more offerings of shots, with him having no clue, i just go ok, tequila, tequila. (love the shit). with a perfect oblivious look on his face, (the one i usually sport- haha homer simpson & duff), he goes 'ok, ok surprise shots!'. so he comes out bringing shots and we are like omg! what is it! and he goes, guess!, TEQUILA!. we are like... sweet surprise. and get this, seriously this place does everything wrong! the shots are in tall glasses with ice cubs in them and the place apparently doesnt have limes, lemons OR salt. for tequilaa, hellooo!?! so we are like, ok whatever, and he awkwardly and creepily stands there watching us as we down the shots. ok byee dumb waiter.
but the night only begins. theres a threesome of 30 years olds, 2 guys and a girl, sitting right near us, most blatantly enjoying our high dumbness, as we are continuously laughing hysterically. "oh look, theres a buddha!' -(which i cant believe i even dared say, since the place is fucking called buddha!) to which kayla goes 'did u just say, oooo barracuudaa'? haha classic. i then understood that wrong but cant remember what in the devil i thought she said. but anyways, this 3some approaches us and after us establishing that no, we are in fact not lesbians, we had some quality conversations about how the girl didnt know how to flirt because she straight up straddles her possible one-night-stands of the night, and we should add her on facebook- she even gave me her card, shits getting serious. truly nice people though. even added it was probably better for us to pretend to be lesbian anyways in order to ward off all the creepy wednesday night guys. well, we have finally experienced buddha wednesday and it is not the same as buddha weekend. hysterial high night.





random thoughts:

things spain needs to be introduced to-
1. toilet paper!
2. the internet

- croquetas are delicious. but not from the hamburgeuseria right down the street from us, which however, still does have delicious hamburgers and fries served until 4 am. how convenient.

- a hookah place is called a 'teteria', which is not to be confused with a tit show.

- having an entire ham leg in your kitchen is considered legit. (side note: our sexy marketing teacher, nano, told us one of his students had wanted extremely badly to bring back a ham leg to the united states and had been scheming for weeks trying to figure out how to put it past the customs point, and finally decided to stick it in a violin case. very creative, i must admit.